It's late and I cant sleep. Nothing new really for me. I have a HORRIBLE track record of bad sleeping habbits starting out since i can remember. My mind tonight is just so busy. Busy on thoughts that i shouldnt be thinking or worrying about. You would think that i would be learning from my own leasons that i hae been teaching in my sunday school class on putting ALL things in God and truely believing that He alone will fix and handle it. I really usually never worry. Its up and down the bible not to worry, i know this. It doesnt help any situation to worry, or does it change things, it only makes the worrywart more miserable and more independent on their own understanding -which is farther away than we need to be from the Truth. But LOOK- HERE I AM, thinking thoughts and letting myself be bothered by things, both big and small.
I Love Easter. CAN I GET AN AMEN?...... CAN-I-GET-AN-AMEN???... As my pastor said today "EASTER-THE MOST IMPORTANT & PIVETAL MOMENT FOR THE ENTIRE HUMAN WORLD" ... It happened around 2,000 years ago when not just 'someone' died, but when THE ONE AND ONLY ONE died for US....I could go ON AND ON of all the wonders of Easter, and yet at the same time i just cant help but hurt and feel a sence of mourning all the same.
I grew up in a WONDERFUL home! In a very stable, and loving home. Two of the best parents ever! Always encouraging, loving, supporting, and how could i forget discipling :) hehe. But I got saved in my teens, by myself at 3am. Getting saved in your late teen years can only mean one of two things. A-I was a kid who just didnt get the memo and failed to pick up on it. or B-I wasnt raised in a Christian home. And you guessed it-B. I love my parents SO MUCH and i KNOW they love me, but they dont know of the ONE kind of love that truely matters. I dont know what it is, but every Easter i just have this horrible mourning feeling. For them and everyone else, I just hurt for all those lost souls out there who have no clue what gift is available to them if they just were to only RECIEVE it. Its out there waiting to be recieved with a cure for all hurt, neediness, anger, pain and suffering, but what good is a gift if is rejected? The Giver of the gift KNOWS we dont deserve it, knows that we are imperfect, knows that once we recieve his love and put our faith in Him we will still stumble, knows of all our wrong doings, bad thoughts and even our horrible and regreted actions and even worse the ones we DONT regret but know they are shameful. He LOVES US ANYWAY!
***Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our LORD.
***Romans 3:23 For all and sined and fall short of the glory of God.
People think the bible was written as a common law or suggested rule and guidline to live by; be nice to others and love everyone, dont cheat, steal, kill or lie, be honest ....and all of that other froofy stuff that makes people feel nice on the inside... BUT IT WASNT, it was written TO US! To us so that we might believe. People throw around the saying 'Its a life or death situation" here and there, but this REALLY IS a LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. Not just for the time being, but for ETERNITY! Hell is not a glowing red place under the ground with a little red guy with horns and pitch fork, where all the 'bad guys' go. ITS a VERY REAL and VERY SCARY PLACE! Just because you go and help out the occasional neighbor, give to that poor guy on the street corner, and say 'God bless America' means your going to heaven. Its not a complicated thing. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE IN GOD! BELIEVE that he sent his son to die for us as the ULTIMATE sacrafice, that he was burried, and then raised from the dead! and then live like you believe. He rose to show that He alone is IT! Whatever 'IT' is, He is 'IT'! You could fill 'IT' in with many a long list, but the bottom line is that He is the creator, the giver of life, the one who loves with NO END! The bible was written so that we can be told of The One who can save us from everything and anything.
****1Corin. 15:3-4 For what I recieved I passed on to you as of FIRST IMPORTANCE, that Christ died according to the scriptures, that he was burried and raised on the third day according to the scriptues.
I love celebrating Easter, but just knowing what i know makes me feel sick at times for those who are not along side with me loing and thanking God. I love sinners! I DO! I REALLY DO! WE ALL ARE SINNERS but there are two different kinds of sinners. there are just PLAIN OLD SINNERS, and then there are FORGIVEN SINNERS. And it is DEFFINETLY good to be the FORGIVEN type. I love the people who dont believe, but hurt for them at the same time. I Love them because they dont deserve it. YEP you heard me, I LOVE THEM-BECAUSE THEY DONT DESERVE IT. I know i am not perfect but im trying hard to be more loving towards those who people try and 'shut out' or ignore because they are not christians. How can they see Christs love if we do not show it?... I love them and i want to fight for them but i know its something only they can decide. Its between them and God. I am just the delivery truck driver unloading boxes and boxes of 'witnessing' or at least i try. But as i try to witness i hurt so bad on the inside for them. I feel like everyday that they dont believe is a lost day. As every Easter passes i just get this feeling like time is running out. And when that time is out, ITS OUT. There is no 'do-overs' no going back, whats done is done. And for me it will be nothing but a time of rejoicing, but at the same time i honestly can not say 'THAT I CANT WAIT" ....I WANT to WAIT! I know im going to the place of wonders and a place where i can just worship my Father who loves me, but how could i be so greedy and selfish to say 'I cant wait' when i know there will be TRILLIONS of people not going. Going to a place for the ammount of time wich NEVER ENDS. It will always be the begining because there will never be an end.
I want to witness to my parents, and see FAST results. I know this is impossible but i just cant wait to see the outcome. Its like those movies you watch where you just are dieing to know the end -if they fall in love, if she tells him the truth, if he dies or lives, or whatever, but its like 10million times worse, because ITS REAL! ...I know that im witnessing to them with the life i live, but i pray everyday that i, or someone would say something to them that would just Speak louder than actions. I know the old saying is normally said backwards, "actions speak louder than words" but i just want someone to verbaly get it out there to them in a way that only they could get. That they would come to the point of not just knowing what to believe but actually NEEDING AND WANTING to believe.
This is just ONE of the many things keeping me up tonight. I know its all in Gods hands and what His way is, IS the way. But again-here i am. PLEASE pray for my parents, pray for everyone you know who is not a believer in the one thing that matters. Dont be selfish to think that your in and thats what matters, get out there and talk to these lost souls and sinners and love them all the more! Do it because it could be my parents your talking to, and do it because thats what Jesus would do.
My little Leia playing with our nighbors dog while they 'puppy sat' her when we were up at Alyeska. Avu and her and like GOOD and BAD, the LIGHT side and the DARK side! she was much cuter when she was little... Just looking at her you know she works for the DARK SIDE! dont let her cuteness fool you ;) hehe
SPECIAL DELIVERY! My puppy ina box :) i love puppies!
